


Greatest-Hits

by DDLC_Stories (orphan_account)



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), V - Fandom, excuse me what the shit does v mean and who put that there, who cares - Fandom
Genre: Everyone Is An Asshole, Lee isn't suicidal tho, Multi, adios, cant knock the hustle!, conrado is an asshole, conrado’s a lil po bitch, everyone is also suicidal too, except clem, hasta luego hasta luego hasta luego, if both aren't hapenting, leave a five star review and ill leave you one too, poor clem, rivers or lee get into a fight, so if rivers isn't trying to die, then someone is about to overdose, while conrado watches the world burn and contemplates how everything went so wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-08-30 00:34:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 18,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16754476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DDLC_Stories
Summary: This shit was supposed to be funny and it was until these fuckers met me, trying to bring it back tho~riversfor the dumbasses who are too lazy to read this shit...here is the story until now:latinos and half-filipinos freak out with crazy powers and some of them with drugs while trying to keep each other from committing die.Starring..... Baja Californian boi who’s the king of waffles and popping wheels. secretly depressed sunshine ball that flies with a bow. Texan badass cool boi who's fully mexican, trust me. recovering drug addict that is as small as ant-man compared to everyone. Heroin-using girl that for sure is a yandere. Cynical Argentine idiot that escaped a cult that gave him cool shit he has to hide, hates Rivers.. Not-so-dense-C. Mexican dude number three: red hair bogaloo. Cheeki Breeki Man. Brunette Thot~rivers, the only boi here that shouldn’t be here.Also whippets is badSo is any drugDon’t do drugs_Hasta luegoHasta luegoHasta luegoAdios.~Rivers, king of all of the Baja California peninsula and 3 counties in California





	1. Greatest-Hits

From the the Doki Squad who brought you Shitposts and the two really good books Lee wrote..

Comes a fourth, shittier story that won’t do any of us justice.  
They finally just got me and my girl out of Sunset Ba-  
“DUDE!” Sayori yelled, “Don’t give away the third book!”  
“But I thought they already knew!”  
“They don’t.”

Anyhow, I must introduce myself, like I do in all my books.  
My name is Rivers. Conrado, and another dude I forgot the name of hit me up and said, “Hey, would you be down to write a story with us, even though your stories are shitty as fuck and ours are really good? Pretty please with a cherry on top?”  
I did, and I already feel Conrado’s rage as I write this.  
Anyway, I guess I should explain a little bit about myself. I have to say I’m Mexican, just so you don’t turn around and say,  
“Rivers is just some white guy who tries to be Mexican” even though I am Mexican. I was BORN IN ROSARITO, GODDAMIT!  
Sorry, I lost my temper. I live in a small, small city, you may have heard of it, it’s called Seal Beach, in the extra small, small, small state you probably haven’t heard of called California. We’re known for the small, small, small, small 13th Street surf spot, which unsurprisingly is run by the small, small, small, small, SMALL 13th Street squad, which is less of a gang and more just a group of surfers who try to be gangster. I’m part of it!  
I go to Southlake High School, a school about half a mile north and two blocks east of 13th Street, on First and Central. We’re the shittiest high school in Southern California aside from this one school in San Diego. We have a Literature Club, which is probably the best thing about school. Sayori, my cool but bad-influence girlfriend, is sick today, so I meet up with Conrado.

“What the fuck you want?” he asks me, very snarkily. He’s still very salty about me. He doesn’t really like me for many reasons, but the main one is I’m annoying and Mexican. Argentine people usually hate Mexicans.  
So I leave him and meet up with my other best friend beside Sayori, Evan! He’s a cool white boy who I met when I was ten, and he’s been my homie ever since.  
Then we meet at the club and we meet up with Natsuki, Yuri, and Monika, who together with Sayori make up the original Chili Peppers (the derogatory term for Literature Club member). In about a sentence, Monika is a bit of a whore who tries to get with me constantly, Natsuki is my other really good friend who reads lots of manga and is dating Evan, and Yuri is... Yuri. That’s it.

We share poems, which is too embarrassing and boring to talk about, and then I take a nap. That’s when the new guy comes in and brings the number of Chili Peppers to 8.


	2. The New Member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone new shows up. Thats all I'm gonna tell you.

"Uh, hello?" I asked as I opened the door to the Literature Club.

Everyone just kinda stared at me, since I'm, you know, Lee. The super popular kid who just moved here like, a week ago.

"What are you doing here?" Monika asked.

I had known Monika for awhile, all the popular kids know each other. She walked up to me, and so did the others.

"I'm here to sign up for the Literature Club. I heard it was all right. Besides, I'm down for some reading." I said, answering Monika's question.

"You wanna join the Literature Club?" One of the guys asked me.

"Yeah."

He looked at me for awhile, then he said, "Alright then. I guess we should introduce ourselves. I'm Rivers."

"I'm Sayori."

"I'm Natsuki."

"I'm Yuri."

"I'm Evan."

The last guy looked at me for awhile. I thought I knew this guy. He looked familiar.

"That guy? That's Conrado. He's not the type to say 'hi'." Rivers said.

Conrado rolled his eyes.

"So, why'd you come here?" Monika asked me.

"To get away, from all the people crowding me. It gets _hella_ crazy." I said.

I still don't get why people call me popular. I just moved here, next thing I know, the guys wanna be my friend and the girls wanna date me. And I'm left here wondering how the hell that happened. _In a single week._

"Anyway, what do you guys do here?" I asked.

"We hang out, share poems, all the boring shit." Rivers said.

"Ehh, doesn't sound that bad, I mean, until you get used to it, I guess." I said.

Rivers sighed. "You'll get it soon enough." And he walked away.

"Hey, you know what? You haven't properly introduced yourself Lee." Monika said.

_Oh, right._

"All right, well, my name is Lee Ramirez. I just moved here a week ago and here I am, popular af. Anyway, I'm a Mexican. Uh, I moved here from Texas, and I guess I'm a little bit of a nerd. I like video games, Fortnite especially. I have 67 victory royales. Anyway, I like me some good music. Some of that rock and pop mix. So uh, yeah. That's all the basics."

They all looked at each other, kinda like if they were checking to see if I was a good addition to their club. Except Monika. She was looking at me. I turned to look at her. She looked away. I swear I could've seen a little pink on her face.

"Alright then Lee, welcome to the Literature Club." Sayori said.

I had a feeling that this club was the right choice. Something about these members, it was like they were guaranteeing I was gonna have a hell of a time here.

As a member of the Literature Club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this club is the beginning and end of me. Anyway, uh, that's the end of my chapter.
> 
> ~Lee


	3. Monarchy of Roses (because he never said I couldn’t reference doing whippets)

April 24, 2017, 3 days before.  
—————————————-

Three people went to the ravine off Capistrano Beach to do whippets, those things full of nitrous oxide that power whipped cream bottles.  
“Where the fuck did you leave the whippets?” the first guy yelled, who was a near-full Mexican dude who was from the Deep South and bumped South Park Mexican and some other gay shit.

“I don’t know! He has it!” the dark-skinned boy with a big-ass chain said, pointing to the surfer who could speak Spanish better than English.  
He was lying on the floor. It was his first time doing whippets. He was used to sniffing glue and doing other drugs.  
CLANG!  
The three empty whippets clanged on the rocks as the third dude convulsed insanely.  
“Dude, WHAT THE FUCK! I’M GONNA FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS FOR DOING MY WHIPPET!” chain boi said.  
“Shut the fuck up! We need to take him to the emergency room! He’s having a seizure!” the first guy said.  
They took the surfer dude to the hospital in Garden Grove.  
“You still fucking owe me a whippet.” chain dude uttered to the convulsing surfer.

Present Day  
—————-

After Monika, our dumbass president, showed Lee, my friend who we share 5th period Math together (kill meee), he sat down and wrote a poem.  
I shared mine because I didn’t yesterday.  
Wanna read it?

Factory of Faith

You seem so flushed of emotion  
So sad and ashamed.  
Well, don’t be down, my friend.  
Come on, let’s leave on a plane.

Never wanna hop in the Wraith  
Wanna just chill in my factory of faith  
So come and join me  
At least for today.

I love your eyes, thats true.  
Why do they remind me of when I surf the water too?  
I know, you might not have a clue.  
It’s one of all the things I love about you.

Yeah, I’m a lovesick asshole. Yeah, I wrote this for and about Sayori. Her response was extremely underwhelming.  
“You ripped the title off a Red Hot Chili Pepper song. Still a nice poem, though.”

I went back and talked to Lee.  
He moved here a few weeks ago from somewhere in the deserts of Texas. I’m not sure why he moved to California, since I still have the idea that how Texans think of Californians in exactly how Argentinians think about Mexicans. They hate them and think they’re lazy stoners. Well, Lee was actually cool and he was the dude who recommended that I should dye a part of my hair. I’m too poor for actual hair dye, so I mixed Baja Blast (yes, the Mountain Dew you find at Taco Bell), and peroxide and dyed a stripe in my brown hair. I think he knows Evan too, like they’re close or something, but recently he’s been really hating on Evan. So I talked to him about it.  
I did my best to be nice and respectful about this...  
“Dude, why are you such a dick to Evan?”  
He’s a very cool-headed person, unlike me, so he responded, “Well, don’t tell anyone, or your fucked, but... I’m kinda feeling something for Nat, you know what I’m saying?”  
I understood, kind of in reverse, I know how it feels to have another person tirandote la onda, I shoot a glance at Monika and she winks at me kind of seductively, and I cringe and flip her off. I don’t mean to be an asshole, but I need to get her off me. I only really love Sayori. That’s it. No other ones.  
I give him some friendly advice.  
“Dude, I was at Nat’s house the other day, and well, she told me she’s looking to break up with Evan. I think Evan’s been looking at other girls or some shit. My advice to you is give it a few days, and when they blow out, write her a poem but don’t be obvious, try to kick it with her more often, and then slide in for the rebound. And keep this on the low!”  
He takes kindly to this and works on a new poem.  
I bought a burger at Carls Jr. today and I ate it. Me and Sayori have this thing where if I buy just one thing of fries, she can have it because she’s actually chronically underweight. It made me feel bad, because I knew she was underweight because she was depressed and she refused to feed herself. Therefore, she lost weight. But she’s been seeing a therapist and so have I for some *family issues* so she eats my fries.  
Fries. That, plus the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the fact we’ve known each other since age 7 is the base of our entire relationship.  
So we eat together and share poetry advice since she is really good at that.  
“So, try to describe more things in your poems. Like instead of just saying ‘you’re surfing’ describe how surfing makes you feel.”  
She always fucking picks on me for being such a surfer, but she finds it hot for some reason. I never know about her, man.  
Well, 4:15 came and Monika brought us together for an announcement.  
“So guys, after dismantling that shit universe Dan Salvato made us and saving Conrado, we’re gonna have a visual art festival along with the anime club and film club in a week or two. So write some really good poems, and a good short story too. We’re looking at you, Lee!” she says in her overly cheery, almost fake voice.  
She has this thing of whenever new members come, she gives them a shitton of responsibility, just so they truly feel included. I whisper to Lee,  
“Don’t worry, dude. I’ll help you.”  
So she puts Lee, Sayori, and I together to write a short story.

So Sayori, Lee, and I head to my house to get this on the road.

Lee whispers in my ear,

 

“Dude. You do still owe him another whippet.”


	4. I'm Actually Good At Writing Poems, Okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So me, Rivers, and Sayori have to write a story. I am actually good at doing that, so, yeah.

We reach Rivers' house and we make our way to the living room. His house was nice, it was better than the houses back in Texas. But hey, I can't complain.  
"Alright, so how are you in writing poems?" Rivers asked me.  
"I used to write poems for my friend back in 8th grade. He signed up for a writing club just because his crush was in it. He absolutely sucked at it." I said.  
Rivers laughed, and so did Sayori.  
"Alright then, show us what you got." He said.  
I sat down at the table, and wrote them a poem.

To My Boys In The South

Up here on the coast,  
It's a little rough, but I could live with it.  
I had to leave my friends, but I had to live with it.  
But I have new friends, ones that might be a little weird,  
But they were ones who understood me.

There's a Literature Club, and that's where I am.  
My new home in this new land.  
At first it seems strange,  
What do I do in this new place?  
To be honest, I have no damn clue.

But I wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for you.

Sayori gasped.  
"Lee, that was beautiful. You were right when you said you could write."  
"Sayori's right. That was pretty good." Rivers said.  
If I could write like this, could it impress Natsuki? Nah, Rivers was probably just lying to make me feel better. But what if he wasn't? What if he was telling the truth about Natsuki wanting to break up with Evan?  
"Alright, well, what are we going to write about?" I asked after they had finished worshipping my writing.  
"Huh? Oh, I was thinking that we could write about, um, something?" Rivers said.  
I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

After two hours of doing absolutely nothing but talking about some random shit, Rivers came up to me.  
"Monika keeps looking at me. It's hella weird."  
I stared at him.  
" _You?_ Have you seen the way Monika looks at me? She keeps blushing everytime I look at her. I think she's starting to like me, but I'll pretend I don't know."  
Once Sayori went to the bathroom, he asked me another question.  
"So, what're you gonna do about Natsuki?"  
"I haven't thought of anything yet."  
"Well, I'll tell you if they eventually do break up."  
"Thanks. You're a good man Rivers."  
Sayori came back. She looked at us. Then she looked at the clock.  
I looked too.  
7:00. I needed to get home.  
"Alright, guys, I gotta get going. See you all tomorrow." I said as I gathered my stuff and I walked out of Rivers' house.

"So what's high school like?" My little brother asked me.  
"It's alright, I mean, I joined a literature club."  
He stared at me.  
" _A literature club?_ With how popular you are? I'm surprised."  
I adjusted the camera, so I could see him better.  
"Jose! Come eat dinner!" I heard a voice say from his side.  
"Oh, I gotta go Lee. Call back soon!" And he hung up.  
Yeah, that's right. My little brother Jose wasn't really here. He was back in Texas. My parents got divorced, so my dad took Jose, and now I live with my mom in Cali. The only way I got to talk to him was by video chats. I sometimes helped him with homework when he really needed it. Well, not really. He sometimes just asked me to help him cause he got lazy. We might have been five years apart, but we got along real well. We might have had only like four arguments in our entire lives.  
I looked at the poem I had written for Rivers and Sayori cause they wanted to see how good I was at writing. I thought I was good. And they did too. So I guess I should share this poem with the club tomorrow.  
I sighed.  
Rivers still owed him another whippet.


	5. Pablo Honey

I wonder why I’m friends with Lee.  
I bought a few whipped cream bottles for tonight, I’m gonna meet with Conrado and Lee at Capistrano Beach.  
It’s easy because I surf at that beach a lot so it gets easy to get there.  
I have a shitton of nicknames at school, most of them bad, but the two most popular ones is “El Scorcho” and “Pablo Honey”.  
Funny, Lee actually named me El Scorcho when he hated me. It was really complicated but the simple version is my good friend Scott (Evan’s twin brother) got jumped by Lee and his squad, (I think he runs with the 15th street squad, which unlike the 13th, is more gangster than surfer, it’s still a bunch of white boys parading around though.)   
So me, Evan, and my Asian homie Lance kicked the shit out of 3 of the 15th Street members, which Lee refused to take too nicely too.   
He hated me, and my friends told me he was about to kick my ass (he’s strong as hell), but before I decided to invite him to Taco Bell to talk things over, because he was down with some of my homies from 3rd Street (in Seal Beach, we rep one of the 17 streets by Ocean Avenue). We talked and I apologized for beating the shit out of his homies. He first denied my apology, calling me “the fucking beaner that spilled Baja Blast down his hair” but eventually a few days later he called me and said he was sorry for being such a dick. That was good for two reasons: one, I actually had respect for the dude, he’s more popular than Monika, the girl who 87% of the nerds clap to. (Seriously, I ran a poll on Twitter.)   
Secondly, I need to remind you I have a butterfly (and not the insect, no sirree, more of the 7-inch Filipino one-hundred-percent-illegal-seriously-dipshit-put-it-away kind of butterfly) and I was too lazy to use my hand muscles to stab a dude, then use my hand muscle to stop myself from getting stabbed, then drive him to El Centro (halfway between me and Arizona) then use more hand muscle to bury him, then use my mouth to get my homies to get me to Mexico.  
Not worth it. We’re almost best friends now, and ever since I became friends with him around five weeks ago we’d do whippets on the beach every week.  
Oh, shit, he shot me a text.

(thattexanboi) hey rivers, i cant come to do whips anymore

(lakes_and_rivers) why the hell not?

(thattexanboi) i’m trying to stop using man, after you passed out from that nox bro.

I got respect for that. He knows his health and wants to be safe.  
You know what?  
I put my whipped cream bottles in the fridge and my glue back in the cabinet.  
From now on those are for waffles and school. Nothing else.  
I went to Nat’s house to talk and kick it and share poem advice.  
When I come in, she seems extra sad. She’s crying in her room.

“What’s going on?” I ask in a calm voice.

 

“Well, since you ask, me and Evan broke up.”

Holy shit. Now I’m torn.


	6. They’re Red Hot

I stayed with Natsuki. We sniffed glue because it would make both of us feel better. She told me how the whole thing happened.  
So, originally this whole shit started when Evan was talking to this other chick and then lied about it. Then yesterday night he said he was going out with this chick and that he was done with her.  
“Should I beat Evan up now or later?” I ask her.  
“Preferably now, but you don’t have to.” Nat responded.  
I secretly had an idea that Nat already liked Lee. All the girls do, and I only can think of two exceptions.  
“Well, I’m gonna go to swing by my homeboy Lee’s house, wanna come with?” I ask.  
Her eyes lit up at the word Lee, but she immediately tried to play it cool. But she still agreed.  
So I headed over to Lee’s pad, mainly to help him with the short story Monika the bitch expects us to write.  
I knocked on the door, and Lee answered the door.  
I could tell he was trying to talk more slick because Nat was around. It was working, but I thought it was funny. We all went upstairs. They were talking and laughing and I felt happy for them, but I felt a little left out. So I hopped out the window when they weren’t looking.  
I wasn’t ready for the drop, however, since he’s on the second floor. When I hit the ground, my knees almost buckle and fall over, but I keep running, so it’s all good.  
I decided to go home, since Sayori was babysitting my little sister, so I sprinted all the way back home.

 

I made Sayori and my sister dinner because they’re always hungry. I am too, but not now. I make them frozen pizza, since I’m poor, and we eat.

As I finish, I get a text from Lee.

 

(thattexanboi) hey thanks;)

That winky face. And they only knew each other for reals for fifteen minutes and they’re cutting to third base? Ay, ay, ay!  
I went back to my room to play GTA 5 on my PS4, which is the most expensive thing I own. I got a million dollars and all the weapons. I mainly just run around and shoot shit at random.  
I decided to turn it off and write a poem after ten minutes. I worked on it for a bit, but it was pretty good.

You/Fish

The sun, the moon, the stars.  
In any form, they’re all you.  
I could never run away.

When I’m at the beach, I see you.  
When I’m paddling out, I feel you.  
When I’m falling into a twelve-footer, I see your eyes.

Your eyes, so blue as they were the canvas to paint the ocean with.  
In them carries all the fish and sharks and squids that venture in them.  
The beauty held in quadrillions of gallons.  
And it’s all you.  
It’s all you.

Ok, I wrote it for Sayori. That’s obvious. Sayori stays at my house a lot, since we’re best friends (her parents don’t know the truth). I fell asleep.  
I know she read it though, because as I feel asleep I felt someone kiss me on the forehead, say “I loved it” and then run off back to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay
> 
> ~my boi lee that morning probably


	7. The Girl Of My Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee gets his girl.

"So, you have a pretty cool house." Natsuki said, sitting down on my living room couch.  
"Thanks, both my parents are in the military, so they got paid _a lot."_  
"Your parents are in the military?"  
"Yeah, but they divorced after an argument they had overseas, so when they came back, my mom told me to pack everything I had, and we left. I haven't seen my dad since."  
"My parents are divorced too." Natsuki said after a while. "I wouldn't wanna tell you why."  
She looked away.  
I didn't know what to do. I had the girl of my dreams sitting next to me. Should we do something? I didn't write a poem, so yeah. In fact, I didn't even know if her and Evan were still together.  
"So, are you and Evan still a thing?" I asked her.  
She didn't respond. Then after awhile, she started crying.  
Well that was a mistake, I made her cry.  
"I broke up with him." Natsuki said. "He was okay at first, but now..." She started crying even harder.  
_What the hell do I do now?!_  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't kno–"  
I didn't even finish my sentence. She started to cry into my shoulder.  
I did what any good person would do. I gave her a hug.  
After she had stopped crying, she looked up at me.  
I looked at her.  
She leaned in, and stole my first kiss with her.

Meanwhile...  
———————————

I don't know what the hell is happening on Conrado's side over there, so I'll just let him do this. Anyway, we welcome back from the dead, RandomIdiot1816. Welcome back Conrado.


	8. conrado's weird discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was gonna be a full story description, but I forgot to save so imma make it from the weird part instead

It is a rainy day today.

I'm just walking through it, getting to my house, and then it turns out is is just a fucking thunderstorm.

great.

so now, i' just soaked AND worried that i will get shocked by lightning.

and that is exactly what happened.

last thing i see, is three figures: a red-haired boy, a dude with military gear and a gas mask and a boy with contact lenses and bandages.

**some time later...**

I hold my head. "ugh... What the hell happened?"

Red shouts "this is fucking amazing! we live pendejos, we live!"

Military Guy is estastic. "cyka blyat, so the escape was a success after all!"

"well, this is awfully bloody nice, huh?"

"what the fu-"

"Oh, you also live! i mean, you somehow survived without a scratch, but i thought you got fried"  
my head hurts. I rub my eyes and i-

"A-Alex? Michael? D-Dimitri? How the fuck are you alive?" My friends... They live!

Dimitri shrugs "I do not know, but this is time to celebrate, blin. Konrad, are you 18 yet?"

**1 day of Vodka and hangout, plus explanations later...**

"Alright, now that is set, we gotta explain to the club..."

Alex sighs. "Let's fucking do this."

we gently open the door, and then enter the club...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i somehow learnt to use bold in this  
> yay


	9. Lee's Strange Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee starts to figure out the truth. What it is, I'm not sure yet.

I was walking to my locker at school the next morning. I couldn't wait to see Natsuki, cause...hold on...oh...we're not dating yet.  
I sighed, and opened my locker. I noticed there was something written on a piece of paper that was taped to my locker.

_Meet me in the library, after school._

That wasn't Natsuki's handwriting. Should I go? Do I need to? I closed my locker after I got out the stuff I needed for fifth period, math. Which I have with Rivers. He's pretty cool, I mean, the dyed hair kinda exploded his popularity rate. He's at least...fifteen levels of popularity levels beneath me. And I'm the very top.  
I walked into my math class when I realized, Rivers wasn't at his seat. I looked around, hoping he was in here, just maybe talking to someone else. Unfortunately, Rivers ditched today.  
_Well, damn it._  
I wondered if there was anybody else in here that I knew, and there were, just people I didn't wanna talk to right now. I realized that all the girls were looking at me. _All of them._  
I had an uncomfortable feeling, but I got over it. Hell, the entire world could be staring at me, and I wouldn't mind.  
I decided to be a little charmer, so I winked at the girls. I then realized there was someone else in here that I knew.  
_Monika._  
Apparently, Monika was in my fifth period math too. How did I not know that? How did Rivers not know that?  
I texted Rivers. I had to tell him.

(thattexanboi) hey did you know monika was in our math class

(lakes_and_rivers) what?

(thattexanboi) yeah, she sits next to the door

Rivers took awhile to respond.

(lakes_and_rivers) are you sure

I looked over at Monika, sure enough, she was in here.

(thattexanboi) yup

I was going to text more, but the teacher had arrived. Hopefully nothing bad happens.

"Alright class, I have assigned each of you a partner to work with for our next project."  
I was now worried from the teacher's statement. Who would I be paired with?  
"I have posted the pairings on the board outside of the classroom. You may go check."  
I got up from my seat, and like the world was whispering in my ear, I could hear the girls talking.  
"What if one of us gets paired with Lee?"  
"Oh my God, I would literally die."  
"From how lucky you got, or how jealous you are?"  
"Shut up! Anyways, if any of us even had a chance to even be a thing with Lee, it would probably be Monika."  
"Hey, don't say that." I heard Monika say. "You never know what could happen."  
For some strange reason, I thought it was okay to turn around and wink at them. What is it with me and winking? Is it a popular boy thing?  
I made it out of the classroom, and looked at the pairings.

_Group 14, Lee and Monika_

Welp, I'm screwed.  
I tried to get back into the classroom before Monika saw, and I made it just in time. I barely sat down before I heard the girls start cheering or something. God, why did it have to be me?

"So, we're partners now, that's, uh, exciting." Monika said as we were walking out of math class.  
"Well, it's not everyday you get to be partners with one of your friends." I said, trying to make her feel happy.  
I don't care what Rivers says about Monika. She's actually proving to be a pretty good person. Not that I'm starting to take an interest in her or something...she just seems pretty cool.  
I can already hear Rivers yelling at me. 'Dude, she's a _bitch._ '  
Oh well, guess I gotta go work with Monika on this stupid ass project. That sucks.

I went to the library, wondering who would ever want to meet me. But when I got there, no one was there, except for the Reading Club. I got out of there as quickly as I could. I really hope I got out of there before anything bad happened. That shit scared me. I shrugged it off, and made my way to my destination.

I finally made it to the Literature Club. I guessed I was the first one to get there, cause the door was locked.  
I looked inside, and I saw people in there. I knocked on the door.  
"It better be one of those members, Conrado." I heard a voice say from inside.  
The door opened, and there was Conrado, looking as salty as ever.  
He signaled for me to come inside.  
I did as he asked.  
I saw three other people in there.  
"Conrado, who the hell are these guys?"


	10. Welcome to Paradise*

 

 

The night that Lee got lucky and Natsuki did too and Lee and Monika got paired, I relapsed on whippets and I found a new buddy to do it with. I drove the Macana Gang* (except Alex) out to the desert and returned empty. Me and Alex went to Capistrano earlier and got high as fuck. Hopefully a few whipped cream bottles in the trash isn’t suspicious.

 

Lee’s been helping me get off the shit. He shot me a text a bit ago.

 

(thattexanboi) yo im at your house, where’s all your whipped cream?

 

I need a good lie, and fast.

 

(lakes _and_rivers) I’m about to cream the 2nd Street squad.

 

(thattexanboi) 2nd Street is in LA.

 

Dammit! I need to do something to get him off the idea I’m doing whippets with Alex and Sayori. I ask Sayori to help, because she was the one who turned me on to all of this, she’s my badfish*.

“Just say I’m making pie.” she told me.

(lakes_and_rivers) sayori texted me. she said she’s making pie.

 

(thattexanboi) she doesn’t know how to make cream pie, she told me a few days ago.

 

“Oops.” Sayori chuckles in a nervous voice.

 

(thattexanboi) look behind you.

 

And as I’m chasing the whippet* with Gatorade, I turn around and I see Lee and Natsuki running toward the ravine.

 

“Put that shit down.” Lee tells me with a stern voice.

Feeling light-headed and high as fuck, I refuse to put it down. Instead, I inhale some more because that NOX* feels like paradise.

“You fucking beaner, put that shit down!” he yells.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

 

He was probably just trying to slap the whippet out of my hand, but instead he slapped me in the face. Missed it by that much.

Sayori then overreacts and punches Lee square in the face.

Natsuki punches Sayori in another overreaction.

And in all this commotion, somewhere I got socked in the face.

It was probably Lee.

Definitely Lee.

I didn’t punch back though.

He then pulled me aside after everyone got hurt.

“Bro, you know I’m like one of the top five most popular kids at the school, right?”

I nodded.

“Well, shit... you keep doing that shit, I’m telling everybody.”

I don’t listen to threats, I just respond.

“Well, everybody knows me and Sayori are the stoner couple. We’re not even that popular, we’re just those Chili Peppers who people want to do dope with.” I started.

“But I know something about you!” I continued, “you were kicking it with Monika today at fifth period and it seemed like you liked it.” I pulled him into a bush, “Nat’s the jealous type, and you really wanna cause more shit? That’s low, bro.”

I saw that somewhere in his soul, he got a bit worried. About Nat.

I felt bad, he’s my friend, who am I to ever say some shit about him? I’m amazed he didn’t kill me after I jumped his homies, much less enjoys my company.

 

You really think he wants to be your friend? Are you that stuck-up? He’s probably gonna jump you and Sayori the first chance he gets. Pack your shit and go back to Mexico.

 

Nah, fuck that. If he does try to jump me, I’ll send him home with two broken legs.

I decide to be nice.

“Look, I’ll try to get off whips. Just don’t let me around whipped cream.” I tell him.

 

He lit up. We agreed that if I ever needed whipped cream for practical purposes, he would bring whipped cream (like in a box) until I was actually not addicted to whips anymore.

 

I smiled and we walked back to the ravine.

Natsuki stood there alone, breathing heavily.

“Where the hell is Sayori?” I asked.

I heard a weak voice, “Help.”

 

 

And I found Sayori lying on her back ten feet down a ravine cliff.

 

She was too far in pain to cry. Natsuki and Lee just left. I guess his reputation is more important than his friends.

I helped Sayori up the cliff. She couldn’t walk, so I had to carry her. She’s not that heavy at all, so even someone who’s not that strong or tall or white like me can lift her.

I carried her to the car, where I set her down in the backseat.

Then I called an ambulance. They arrived five minutes later. I reassured Sayori she would be okay, the ambulance is coming.

They came, and they didn’t let me in.

“Only immediate family members allowed.” the tall old white lady said.

“Come on, I’m her boyfriend.”

“Just go home.” the lady said.

The Mexican guy in the ambulance mouthed something to her along the lines of “Shut the hell up” and then told me, “Hurry up and climb in!”

You see, I’m really popular along the small and passionate Mexican community (of which Lee is not usually counted as a member, cause he acts hella white and a bit conceited sometimes, sad but true.). A lot of people call me the most popular Mexican boy at school, and Sayori gets called the most popular Mexican girl, even though she’s not even Latina at all whatsoever (she’s Filipino, so I mean, maybe?) so it’s pretty weird. Me and Sayori get treated like the face of the Mexican part of my school, which is pretty small. And I think what separates me from the ‘popular’ kids (like Lee), is that I hate being popular. Like, mainstream popular. I love being the guy all the Mexican _heinas_ wanna date but they wanna be best friends with Sayori because they know she can fuck them up, and all the Mexican guys (who actually are Mexican) are down with me. We’re like Mexican royalty to them, which is cool. But I never wanna be Lee status, where everybody knows me and watches me and wants to fuck me and wants to see me flex. I’m happy for Lee being the Donald Trump (sorry) of this school, I’ll stick to being Miguel Obrador (for you dumbasses, thats the president of Mexico).

We get to the hospital. They tell me to sit in the waiting room. It sucks. I text Lee.

 

(lakes_and_rivers) what the fuck bro!

 

(thattexanboi) wut

 

(lakes_and_rivers) you didnt even help when sayori fell.

 

(thattexanboi) dude, im sorry. i wanted to, but natsuki ran away crying, so I followed her. is she okay?

 

(lakes_and_rivers) alright man, see you later:/

 

After forever and a day (or 2 hours) the nurse comes out to see me.

 

“Miss Delarosa wants to see you.”

 

Really? Miss Delarosa? She couldn’t have just called her Sayori?

 

Dumbass.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The asterisks are for me to define:
> 
> Welcome to Paradise: a song by Green Day.
> 
> badfish: someone who turns someone else onto drugs
> 
> chasing whippets: drinking something to neutralize the effect of whippets afterward.
> 
> NOx: Nitrous oxide, the stuff in whippets that makes you high
> 
> heina: Mexican slang term, halfway between fine girl and bitch.
> 
> Hope you learned something about Southern California, these are some semi common slang words used by southern californians.


	11. Some Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee finds out some bad news. And just when everything was going well...

I looked at Natsuki walking next to me. She still had tears in her eyes. She didn't want to fight her friend, I didn't either. How did I miss by that much? I didn't think I would hit Rivers, I guess out of my rage I didn't care if I hit him. You know what?  
"I don't care about our deal anymore. He can do whippets of it's the only thing he'll ever want."  
I didn't mean to say that out loud.  
"You're gonna let him do it?" Natsuki asked me.  
"Yeah. He's his own boss. I'm not controlling him."  
We arrived at my house. I opened the door and let Natsuki in. I'm still surprised that we weren't dating yet. My mom wasn't home, she was shipped out overseas for some military stuff.  
"What's your mom like?" Natsuki asked me.  
"She's nice, but she'll fight if she has to." I responded.  
Wait, my mom wasn't here. I could do whatever I want.  
"Hey, let's throw a party."  
Natsuki looked at me.  
"Your mom is in the damn army. Are you sure she'd be okay with this?"  
"Yeah, she used to throw parties when she was younger."  
"Well, fine then. Let's throw a party." She said, trying to play it cool. But I could tell she was excited.  
"Hey, I'm gonna need you to make some–"  
"Cupcakes?" She finished my sentence.  
"Absolutely."  
"But, I'll need a little something for the food." I said, walking towards the garage door.  
"Where are you going? The front door is _that_ way." Natsuki said, pointing towards the front door.  
"I have something better than that." I said, twirling the car keys in my hand.  
She took interest, and walked to the garage door.  
"C'mon, aren't we going somewhere?" She asked, opening the door.  
We walked into the garage, and she gasped when she saw my car.  
" _Holy shit._ " She said.  
I had a customized Corvette, it was colored blue, and it had a nice little spoiler. My mom got it for me when I turned 18, but I decided to save it for a special occasion.  
I turned on the ignition, and we got inside.  
"This car is hella cool." Natsuki said.  
I opened the garage door, and backed the car out.  
We drove for a good 15 minutes before getting where I wanted to go. We stopped at a Mexican restaurant, and the good kind too. You know it's good when they only speak Spanish.  
I opened the door, and I was greeted by the guy who owned the restaurant.  
"Hola Lee! ¡Me alegra verte de vuelta! ¿Qué será para hoy?* He said.  
"Tendré el enorme paquete de fiesta. Tengo una pequeña fiesta en mi casa.*" I responded.  
Natsuki stared at me.  
"I can understand a bit of Spanish, but that's too much." She said.  
"Ah, ¿tienes una novia, Lee? Me he estado preguntando si alguna vez obtendrías uno.*" He asked me.  
"Todavía no, señor Romero.*" I responded.  
He left to go get the food ready.  
"So, this place only speaks Spanish?" Natsuki asked me.  
"Oh yeah, loads of it. I learned Spanish along with English, so I got the hang of it pretty quick."  
I looked around the restaurant. I was pretty well known around here, but I think that they've kept me a secret. Like, they won't talk about me when other people, like Rivers, are around here. But almost everyone in this area knows me. And I'm gonna make sure everyone, and I mean _everyone_ , is gonna know who I am after this party.  
"Lee, tu pedido está listo. Diviértete en tu fiesta." Mr. Romero said, bringing out my food.  
"Gracias." I said, and me and Natsuki left the restaurant.  
"Man, you weren't kidding when you said they only spoke Spanish." Natsuki said on the way back to my house.  
When we returned to the house, I texted everyone I knew, which was pretty much everyone.

To (everyone) from (thattexanboi) im having a party at my place, youre all invited

Natsuki started to bake the cupcakes. I helped her. In about an hour, people started to show up. People like all my white friends, girls, and Monika. She was here too. They all helped me get stuff ready, and pretty soon, we were all set. Chris, was the DJ for this. He had a lot of experience with that, or so he told me. Pretty soon, after the sun had set, my house was filled with people. I had waited and waited, but I didn't see Rivers or Sayori show up. I guess they were still mad at me.  
Pretty soon, someone broke out some beer. I wanted to have some, but I couldn't get drunk. Not just yet.  


Rivers and Sayori never showed up. At 10:00 pm, at least a third of the people were drunk. It was also the peak point of my party. _Perfect._  
I stood on top of the stairs, and signaled for Chris to turn down the music.  
"Attention, everyone. I have an announcement to make."  
It was complete silence after that.  
I continued.  
"Many of you don't know where I'm from, but I want to make something clear. I'm a Mexican."  
There were many gasps and cheers.  
"That just makes you hotter!" Someone yelled.  
Everyone laughed. Even I did.  
"Thanks for the compliment, but there's something else. I'm done being a white boy. From now on, you'll see me hanging out with the Mexican guys. Just thought I should say that. Alright, you guys can continue."  
And with that, Chris turned the music back up and everyone went back to doing what they were doing. I went down the stairs to get a tortilla, cause I love them. A couple of my Mexican friends patted me on the back, on my way over to the kitchen. I had a couple of tortillas, like I said, I loved them, and about 15 minutes later my phone rang. I ran up the stairs and went into my room. I answered the phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Is this Lee Ramirez?" A voice asked.  
"Yes, this is."  
"I'm afraid we have some bad news for you Lee."  
_What happened?_  
"Your mother, was KIA."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For them non-spanish-speakers.
> 
> * = something in Spanish, for instance,
> 
> Hola Lee! ¡Me alegra verte de vuelta! ¿Qué será para hoy? = Hello Lee! I'm glad to see you back! What will it be for today?
> 
> Tendré el enorme paquete de fiesta. Tengo una pequeña fiesta en mi casa. = I'll have the huge party package. I have a small party in my house.
> 
> Ah, ¿tienes una novia, Lee? Me he estado preguntando si alguna vez obtendrías uno. = Oh, do you have a girlfriend, Lee? I've been wondering if you'd ever get one.
> 
> Todavía no, señor Romero. = Not yet, Mr. Romero.
> 
> Lee, tu pedido está listo. Diviértete en tu fiesta. = Lee, your order is ready. Have fun at your party.
> 
> I think we all know what 'gracias' means...


	12. Don’t Step To Me*

I don’t know if I can kick it with Lee anymore. He, for sure, don’t like me anymore. I think he was trying to subliminally diss me by saying “I’m done being a white boy. I’m gonna be the most popular Mexican!”

If I was at that party, I would’ve said, “Don’t step to me, bitch.”

I respect Lee, he’s a good person. I just think it’s fucked he’s gonna sabotage me and my reputation with the Mexican people in school. Can he just be happy kicking it with all the others and just me and _mi raza_ alone? I feel like he’s just trying to fuck me over. Like, I don’t think being a Mexican is a contest, but if you’re gonna say “Hey, girl, fuck on me, I’m Mexican!”, at least have the following:

Stuff you should definitely do:

Have done weed

Actually been to Mexico

Have a low-rider or at least know someone who does (my Mexican homie from 11th Street has one).

Stuff you can do to stand out:

Wear Chucks

Actually speak Spanish

Rep Mexico.

Have a Latina girlfriend.

Do whippets, glue, or speed (meth)

Participate in a riot.

Go to church.

Join 13th Street

I added that last one to rep my squad. I think Lee is cool and all, but he’s just not that Mexican, like he doesn’t rep, he has a Japanese girl, and has never been down south, and I’m not sure if he goes to church (I’m trying to get closer to God.)

 

But, after a while, I realize. It’s kinda silly to be playing this whole who’s cool game. I’m gonna let Lee be a pretty boy who hates me and wants to ruin my life and kicks it with the popular kids who tried to jump me two days ago (supposedly Lee told those fuckers to).

I’m gonna just stay how I always was: that Mexican boy you can meet up with at Capistrano to hit the nitrous and talk about life.

 

Eventually, the nurse came out and said Sayori wanted to see me. I went in and followed the nurse. She was okay, she just partly fractured her upper back. She felt a bit sad, so I gave her a hug.

She whispered something in my ear,

“Please beat up both of them for me.”

Eventually, the nurse kicked me out, so I left.

Where was I headed?

15th Street.

I decided. I’m not fighting him. I’m gonna show him not to fuck with El Scorcho.

 

So, I have this one song, it’s called Can’t Knock the Hustle by Weezer. I like that song, but everyone else, especially all the Mexican kids, think of it as the most whitewashed, ripped off song ever. Playing it a party is the first and foremost way to lose friends.

I snuck to his party through the backdoor, and I saw he had his Amazon Alexa by the punch table. I was on all fours by the door. I was nervous. I didn’t want to ruin his party.

But I had to. He would ruin my life, just like he wants to.

 

So I whispered very quietly to it.

 

 

 

“Alexa, play Can’t Knock the Hustle by Weezer on Spotify.”

 

I wish I never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can’t knock the hustle!
> 
> Don’t step to me  
> Don’t step to me  
> Don’t step to me  
> Bitch
> 
> Hasta luego  
> Hasta luego  
> Hasta luego  
> Adiós!
> 
> ~ Rivers Cuomo, my personal hero and LA legend, and we share the same name!


	13. Why Bother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw this is gonna be my last chapter since it has become more clear the other two authors don’t want me here anymore. I’m sorry I had to leave so soon, but I’ll go back to working on my books.
> 
> The Americana out.

You ever have those thoughts of just fucking giving up?  
I have those all the time. I don’t wanna be here, with people who want to ruin my friendships and my life. My question in life is like: Why fucking bother?   
So I walk around town for a bit until my Snapchat notification pings.

Oh. So supposedly me playing Can’t Knock the Hustle actually boosted his popularity because in all honesty, not much of the true eses came around. White people and some (and I mean SOME) Mexicans love that song, so yeah. Happy for him.

I hit up Sayori.

(lakes_and_rivers) hey, are you feeling better?

(sayitaintso) a bit, why?

(lakes_and_rivers) well, can you watch clem for a bit.

(sayitaintso) sure, why?

I didn’t want to be obvious. 

(lakes_and_rivers) goodbye <3

I bought ten whipped cream bottles. I’m gonna learn to make pie.  
So I took a trip to Capistrano Beach.

 

I hate that beach now. It sucks. So I try to find a place where no one will find me. Especially Lee.  
That fucker doesn’t give a shit about me. He’ll be happier and more popular when I’m done.  
I pop off the whipped cream like a cookie jar, to reveal the small gray pressurized bottles inside.  
When all ten of them are ready, I put the nozzles into a balloon. When all ten are out of nitrous. I close it.

 

Then I put the edge to my mouth and inhale it.  
I see stars.  
I see rainbows.  
I see my dead mother and father.  
I see my old house in beautiful Rosarito.  
I hear cars.  
Actually, I hear just one car.  
I hear someone shouting.  
The shouting is getting louder and closer.

 

And then I hear nothing at all.

And. Then. I. See. Nothing. At. All.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goodbye
> 
> ~rivers emiliano sanchez  
> born december 13, 1999


	14. Race for life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well, since we got drugs, we might as well throw this into the mix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rivers, please wait until marijuana is legalized or move to Canada or Uruguay.  
> also please stop fighting guys  
> God dammit i am not letting you die rivers

"shit. we have to get there. How long?"  
"ETA ten minutes. i swear, we might have our differences, but I really don't want anything to happen."  
"i don't give a blin, just keep driving! How long until alexander joins us?"  
"it's alejo or alex, but still, he is 5 minutes to joining us. This is bad. if he keeps doing whippets, he is fucking gonna pass out. or worse."  
"i know MC, damnit! we need to drive!" i push the gas.  
"God dammit, i am not losing a friend! Konrad, status?"  
"he's on the fifth. he has five more. ETA 3 minutes. alex is teleporting now..."  
"I'M HERE!"  
"WOAH, WOAH WOAH!" I drift through the road, almost crashing into the bushes.  
"Calm down pendejo, we need the wheel stable!"  
"HE KNOWS!"  
"SHUT UP YOU CYKAS! STATUS?"  
"30S! THE MOMENT I STOP, JUMP AND GET HIM IN! HE IS PASSING OUT!"  
The three shut in unison. "YES SIR!"  
I drift, almost crashing. I enter the border of the beach, ten meters from him. "GO!"  
the three grab him, and place him in the back of the car. "Get in!"  
they get in, with the dark-haired boy alongside our friend. "CLEAR, GET TO THE HOSPITAL, NOW!"

and we drive.


	15. El Scorcho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE BIATCH

Well, no more whipped cream for me. After my *totally accidental* overdose, I woke up at the hospital with a needle in my arm and a cake in my lap.

I think I passed out on December 10.  
Then I realized. The cake was a birthday cake.  
So I was knocked out for three days?  
I check my phone.  
It’s December 13.  
I woke up and nobody was in the room. I reach for a little note with a face on it on the side of the table.  
I drop the cake.

“Goddammit.”

I eventually get to the note and open it.

Hey, sorry I punched you in the face.  
\- Lee

I forgive him, I guess. Okay, this book is supposed to be funny, and I’m stuck in the hospital. I try to get up from bed.  
I can. I change, painfully, into my normal clothes and walk out of the hospital.

This dude who’s the doctor tries to get me back in.  
“Let’s go back to the room.” he says, calmingly.  
“No. I wanna go home.”  
“Well, you can’t today.”   
“Today’s my birthday.”  
“Well, happy birthday, but you’re not leaving.”  
This guy tries to hold me and walk me back. I sock him in the face and push him into a wall, then do my best to run off. It’s hard, being in excruciating pain, but I eventually made it and called Lee.

“Hello?” he answered.  
“Hey, it’s Rivers. Can you come pick me up?”  
He seemed very relieved I was alive.   
“I thought you were still in the hospital, though!”  
“Yeah, you see, I socked a doctor in the face and ran out, and I think they’re coming for me...”  
“Well, fine, meet me at Dana High then.”  
He didn’t seem too mad that I needed him to pick me up from halfway across the county (Capistrano Beach is half an hour away from home.)  
He seemed happy that I wasn’t dead.  
So I guess I forgive him too?  
I went surfing by 13th Street. I met a few homies back there, and the Literature Club threw me this big-ass birthday party.  
All my Mexican homies and even all my white and black and Asian homies came and we ate pie (Sayori actually learned how to make pie). Lots of pie.  
Pie and carne asada tacos seem to go along really good. My homies brought tequila so we drank some. I got drunk as fuck and started playing a punk rock song on my guitar.  
I eventually just sat on my beanbag chair and got my ass kicked in Fortnite by Lee and Conrado.  
Then I realized.  
I whispered to Lee in a slurred voice as he was trying to make out with Nat,

“Dude, the visual arts festival is in two days and we haven’t gotten anything done. Also, I’m drunk as hell.”


	16. A Little Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the damn title.

Nope. I'm not going to this stupid thing. I'm going on a trip back home. To Texas.

Natsuki was staying the night at my house, so I told her to run back home and pack whatever she needed. She nodded, and slipped out the back door.  
I grabbed my old suitcase, and filled it with clothes. We were gonna be gone for awhile.  
Natsuki returned, and we got into the my super nice Corvette, and before we left, I got a sticky note and wrote,

_In Texas, the lone star state._

I put the sticky note on the front door, and got in the car with Natsuki. I told her it was gonna be a hell of a long ride.  
"Then I'll take a nap." She said.  
"Alright then, go ahead."  
I pulled out of the driveway and headed off to where I was from, Texas.

3 hours later, I wanted to just stop and take a rest. I really did. But I had somewhere to be, and I wasn't going to take any stops. Unless someone had to use the bathroom.  
I looked over at my now girlfriend Natsuki, and how cute she looked sitting there, asleep.  
Man, I could use some coffee right now.

Natsuki had woken up. At least 2 hours passed, and we had barely crossed the border to New Mexico. Maybe we should have taken an plane instead. But that would've cost a ridiculous amount of money.  
We made it to a point that there were no other cars around. Nothing was in sight, except the empty desert.  
"Wanna have some fun?" I asked Natsuki.  
"What do you mean by, 'fun'?"  
"This." I said, speeding up the car to about a 100 mph.  
She laughed, and told me to go even faster. I did, and just to let you know, I passed my driving test with flying colors.  
We eventually had to slow down, cause there was a small town appearing in sight ahead of us. I went to the normal speed limit, and Natsuki complained.  
"We could've just speed through that. I liked going fast." She said.  
"Yeah, well, we're coming to the border of Texas." I said, showing her the sign that we were about to drive by.  
We only had to drive for a good 30 minutes before we came to the place I almost called home, Odessa, TX.  
"I used to live here, ya know." I told Natsuki.  
She was to busy looking at the downtown area, where I used to go to school.  
_Wait, I could go see Jose! And my dad too, I guess._  
I took a turn on one of the streets, and went down the street that I called home a month ago.  
"Wow, this is exciting!" Natsuki said, looking out the window.  
I parked on the street, and opened the door.  
"Hey Lee? Where are we?" She asked me.  
"My old home Natsuki, my old home."  
She grabbed me and took a selfie of us, and I'm pretty sure she posted it on everything she had.  
We walked up to the door, and knocked on it. It was time I introduced my girlfriend to my family, and it was time that I see them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a current goodbye from Lee and Natsuki, however, I am curious about what the others will do about me.  
> ~Lee, the supreme Texan


	17. This, Kids, Is Why You Never Do Shrooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lee, you’re not leaving.  
> Sorry.  
> I was an idiot, okay.  
> My bad.  
> Let’s be friends:P

I shook Lee very strongly.  
“EARTH TO LEE! COME BACK!” I shouted.  
He’s been high for 14 hours. I guess he had a beer, which led to him getting two, then four, then (just listen to the song ‘Date Rape’ by Sublime, it won’t make any sense to this topic, but it’s a fun song to smoke weed to). Oh, and this girl (who may or may not have been Natsuki) fed him some shrooms.  
After two more hours, Sayori dumped a ice bucket down his back.  
That brought him back.  
“SAYORI, WHAT THE FUCK? WHY’D YOU FOLLOW ME TO TEXAS?”  
“Homeboy, you’re in California.” I responded.  
“No, I passed Arizona, we killed these two guys in Tucson, ran to Albuquerque, almost got arrested by Bart Simpson with rainbow eyes...”  
“Bro, you were on shrooms. Remember? You’re too poor to even book a flight? So am I, it’s normal.” I responded.  
He was a little sad.

Sayori hates when people feel sad.  
So obviously she comes up with the idea, “Let’s just take him on a road trip to Texas!”  
“Nah, it’s not that. My mom died.”  
All the girls and some of the extremely white boys gave him a hug. I just gave him some pie and told him I was there for him. Then I left. Both Natsuki and Lee puked in my microwave while they were high.  
I didn’t fuck them up, though. They were high. You have to go easy on people who were high.  
So when Sayori popped the idea of a Texan road trip, I responded,  
“Espera, yo no se Inglés, y los gringos son setenta por ciento de Texas. Me van a matar. No sobrevivo hasta Veintinueve Palmas!*”  
Conrado responded, “Yeah, seventy percent of Texans* are white trash*, so you’ll fit in perfectly, Rivers!”  
After I gave Conrado a bruise on his face, I responded, “Can I at least bring my butterfly knife and my sister?”  
Lee started warming up to this idea, “I guess.”  
So I finally agreed. I used my Mexican skills to hide weed in the underside of the car, and since we used my car and Lee’s car (he has a 2017 Corvette) we were prepared. Eventually, I got my sister and we hit the Taco Bell because Sayori and Clem and Lee and Natsuki were hungry. I’m not, so I decided to just get a slushie and some smashmouth* for the road.

I turned around to Lee as we went back to his house to camp out for the night before we left for the house.

“You can’t ever say we don’t love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness, I’m kinda lazy.


	18. A Little Bit Before The Trip...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's obvious if you read the title.

As I walked up the stairs, I couldn't stop thinking about my mom. _KIA?_ Why did it have to be my mom that died? Why couldn't it have been someone else?  
Natsuki noticed how sad I was.  
"Lee, look, I know you're still sad about your mom, but there was nothing we could have done."  
She kissed me on the cheek.  
"We're still just some stupid high school kids." She continued to say.  
She put her arms around me, and laid her head on my shoulder.  
I opened the door to my room.  
I let Natsuki use my bed, while I slept on the couch in my room. I sometimes stayed up late playing Fortnite. She would sometimes play with me, but she fell asleep most of the time.  
"Wanna play Fortnite?" I asked her.  
"Do you want to get your ass kicked?" She replied, putting her hands on her hips.  
"You're on." I said, booting up the Xbox.  
"I thought we were playing on PS4." Natsuki said.  
I looked at the PS4 next to my Xbox, and yes, I do have both. I use the PS4 to play with Rivers, and the Xbox when I'm not.  
"Nope. Xbox today." I said, grabbing the Xbox controllers.  
She sighed, then grabbed a controller. She had no idea what was coming.

2 hours later....

Natsuki was determined to not fall asleep. I was too, but I had to drive in the morning. So I put down the controller, and jumped on the couch.  
Natsuki was still going at it. She was currently in the top 3. I wasn't falling asleep till Natsuki wins.  
She got hit with a rocket.  
"God damn it."  
She had 10 health left.  
She took out someone.  
And then...  
She got killed.  
"Shit! I was so close!" She yelled.  
I laughed.  
"Lee, you–"  
She jumped on me.  
She tried hitting me, but we both just ended up laughing.  
We were both tired, so she just fell asleep on me.  
I held her tightly, because she would fall off if I didn't, and I fell asleep.

The next morning...

(I'm not sure what's gonna happen in next, so I'm going to let someone else write it. –Lee)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I don't really know what Rivers wants to happen next, so I'm gonna let him write the next chapter.  
> ~Lee the supreme Texan


	19. Road Trippin’

Road Trippin’

(This would be the right time to play the song ‘“Road Trippin’” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers* and to get six bottles of smashmouth* for the road.)

 

I had to wake up Nat and Lee because they were passed the fuck out. The only way I could get them up is to play their least favorite song, “Creep” by Radiohead*.  
“STOP PLAYING THAT FAGGOTED MUSIC!” Lee yelled.  
“Then get in the car because we gotta go!”  
I was already tweaking as I had chugged four of the smashmouth bottles, when I normally drink one. I hopped in my beat-as-hell Honda CR-X, while Lee and Natsuki (Lee is way more richer than me) hops in his pretty boi* Corvette. It’s looks hella nice, I was about to jack it last week in my plans to move back to Mexi- oh shit! Nothing!

Okay, right now. Think of California. Imagine your in California. Dream of Californication*. What do you think of? Sun and surf and snobby white people? Gangsters and shooters? Sublime*? Or do you think of an hour of traffic just to go a half mile?  
If you thought of the fourth one, you’re right! In L.A (or the ghetto offspring of L.A, Orange County, and some of my San Diego homies say traffic is starting to get bad down there), we’re basically a giant mess of freeways that our best music (like Weezer, RHCP, other shit) can barely make up for. We have the 1, the 710, the 405, the 22, the... actually, naming all of these freeways is bullshit because theres so many. If you want to know, look it up.  
It’s so bad because everyone wants to either go to LA, or leave it. East-west freeways (like the 710, 22, basically every even-numbered freeway here except 91) are just as bad. You can’t win north of San Clemente*, and sometimes even farther south you can’t win.  
I eventually just suck it up and play some music. Lee and Nat are gonna meet us in Riverside, where we’ll decide what the hell to do. Haha, Riverside. Get it?  
I already feel like I’m tweaking from the smashmouth, but I down another one because four is all it takes to make someone addicted.  
We all decided our best bet is to take the 1, the 22, the 55, and then the 91. (If you’re too dumb to know this, in order, those numbers mean Pacific Coast Highway, the freeway in Garden Grove, the freeway that I think goes from Newport to Orange to the 91, takes your sorry ass to Riverside. I hate the 91, due to some matters that won’t fit a comedy book, but after finishing my sixth bottle, I’m too amped to notice anything.  
I’m going 100 on the highway and I almost got chased by a cop. Luckily, Evan gave me his radar detector, which tells you to slow down when cops are near. Oh, I just want to break it over his head right now. 

I eventually get my ass hauled into Riverside by Sayori when I’m too tweaked out* to proceed with the whole driving and not dying portion of the matter. Sayori seems a little pissed, but she forgave me.  
“I don’t get anything to help keep me awake.” she complained.  
That’s when I realized I actually bought seven bottles and one is left in my bag. I grab it and pull out the stuff. It takes all my willpower and then some to hand it over to Sayori.

“Wow, no wonder people always say we’re the drug addict couple.” I told her.  
She smirked.  
“Yeah, I bet both of our yearbook awards will say, “Most likely to get addicted to smack*” she replies, bursting into laughter.  
Then I realize.  
I shouldn’t be talking like this around Clem.  
But thank God she’s asleep.  
I eat the rice and beans I packed in a Tupperware box.  
“You’re such a beaner!” Sayori jokingly asks.  
“You want some?” I replied, with a cocky smile on my face. She’s Filipino. They eat beans too. And they for sure eat rice. 

Then I see the ‘welcome to Riverside’ sign.  
It’s three in the A.M. so I text Lee and ask him where we’re posting up at, because I’m too smashed* to drive.

(thattexanboi) nah, let’s make it at least to arizona.

(lakes_and_rivers) sayori’s about to pass out, and so am i

(thattexanboi) i mean, fine, but we’re each paying for our own shit. Meet me and the Santa Cruz Inn by the 60/215 junction area.

I agree and fifteen minutes, after buying eighteen more bottles and splitting them between me, Sayori, and Conrado (I’m only giving him 2), we hit the hotel and get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ill define later, im too lazy
> 
>  
> 
> Google it  
> Lee youre next
> 
> ~rivers
> 
> Fine ill define now:  
> Road Trippin’: a song by the RHCP  
> Creep (Radiohead) :the sweet sound of suicidal British people, one of my favorites.  
> San Clemente: A city in south Orange County  
> smashmouth: no youll never be an all-star  
> actually the drink smashmouth is half Monster Energy piña colada and half Baja Blast.  
> tweaking: acting like your high on meth, regardless if you took meth or not  
> smacking: acting like your high on heroin, regardless if you took heroin or not  
> smack: heroin  
> Sublime: best band to ever come out of LA
> 
> Ok bai  
> ~rivers (for all intents and purposes the supreme god of California and Baja California, Mexico)


	20. Sneaking Out Early

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really just gonna let you look at the title and let you guess what happens.

I couldn't sleep that night. I kept having nightmares with my mom dying. Or worse, me finding her dead body.  
I kept waking up with chills, and I was sweating. I decided that I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I got up, put some clothes on, and walked out of the room.  
Luckily, Natsuki didn't notice I left, cause I needed to do something by myself.  
I went out to the parking lot, unlocked my car, and drove out. I needed to take a break. Just for a little bit.

I ended up at the Taco Bell, and, believe it or not, I met someone cool.  
"So, uh, you're not from around here are you?" He asked me.  
"I'm from Texas, but currently I live in Cali."  
"Texas, huh? And you live in Cali. That's cool bro."  
"Don't tell anyone I said this, but I still think Texas is better."  
He stared at me.  
"You live in California. One of the best places in America. How could you say Texas is better?"  
I shrugged.  
"You'll get it once you live there."  
I took another sip of my Pepsi. People didn't appreciate how good this shit was.  
He pointed at my car.  
"Is that beautiful thing yours?"  
"Yeah."  
"It's nice."  
"Sure is. My mom bought it for me when I turned 18, but, she's not here anymore."  
"Oh, did your mom move?"  
I looked away.  
I could tell he just regretted saying that.  
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry bro, I didn't thin–oh, God, I'm sorry."  
"It's alright, I'll learn to live with it."  
There was a bit of silence, so I decided to go to the bathroom.  
On my way over to the restroom, I heard the ding from the door, you know, like when someone enters or leaves. I had a feeling someone left.  
I turned around, and sure enough, the guy I was just talking to had left the building, and he was trying to break into my car.  
This was more important then having to pee.  
I went outside.  
"The hell are you doing?!" I said as I walked out.  
He looked up.  
"Hey, buddy, hopefully you won't mind if I take this from you, do ya?" He walked towards me, and 2 other guys appeared out of nowhere.  
They tried to punch me, but after all, my parents were in the military. They taught me how to stand up for myself.  
One of the guys tried to punch me in the gut. He succeeded, but it didn't work how he expected it to. I only maybe took a half step back.  
Now they tried to attack me all at once, and let me tell you, trying to dodge 3 attacks at the same time, doesn't work at all.  
By the time they thought they had finished me, I had a bloody nose, a cut lip, and a bruise on my chest.  
"Is that all you got?" I asked them mockingly.  
"Your ass ain't beat yet?"  
"Nope."  
I walked towards them, and...  
_Bam!_  
I already probably K.O.'d someone.  
Like anybody would do, the other guys tried to avenge their friend, but they badly failed.  
Long story short, all 3 three of the guys who tried to jump me were all knocked out.  
"Don't mess with Lee Ramirez." I said, getting into my car and driving back to the inn.

Natsuki heard me open the door to the room. She woke up.  
"What the hell happened?" She said, running up and grabbing my face.  
"N-nothing." I said, taking her hands off.  
"You listen here Lee, what the hell happened, and why were you out?!"  
"I, I kept having nightmares. About my mom. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I took a drive to Taco Bell. I met this 'supposedly' cool guy, turns out he tried to steal my damn car. He had 2 other guys with him, and I got a little hurt, but currently they're probably still laying on the parking lot, knocked out."  
She sighed.  
"You could've told me you were having nightmares." she said, walking towards the window.  
I took my jacket off, and just laid on the bed with jeans and a t-shirt.  
Natsuki laid down beside me, and gave me a kiss.  
"I'll always be there for you, okay?"  
I grinned, and gave her a kiss back.  
"Yeah, and I'll always have your back."

We woke up the next morning, and got dressed. The others were still asleep, so we decided to go wake them up.  
I knocked on Rivers, Sayori, and Clem's door.  
"Wake up guys, it's time to go!" I said, sounding a little too enthusiastic.  
Rivers was still a little groggy, but hey, we still had somewhere to be.  
We all got loaded into our cars, and took off.

For Texas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I made another work called The Doki War To End All Doki Wars, and I'm pretty proud of it. Go check it out, I mean, if you want.  
> ~Lee the supreme Texan


	22. Dream of Californication

I should have never agreed to this shit.  
Lee is slapping me in the face waking me up telling me we gotta go. I decide to get more sleep. Fuck driving. Lee is bitching about how Riverside is bad city, he almost got carjacked or shit like that.  
And I didn’t get out of bed, and if he told you that, he’s a goddamn lie...  
“RIVERS!” Sayori snapped. “STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! YURI SAID NOT TO!”

(Oof, karma police missed me by that much...)  
I turned and Lee and responded to his bitching.  
“That’s why YOU DON’T FUCKING GET A CORVETTE UNLESS YOU GOT A GAT* TO BACK IT UP, FOOL!” I yelled, then pulling the pillow over my face.  
Then I just realized Leetsuki (too bad I don’t get any ship name) is gone.  
Only Clem and Sayori and Conrado are behind.  
That would be generally okay, it’s just Conrado.  
Last night he was roading with Lee and Nat. Now he’s stuck with me. He’s gonna start lighting a blunt in front of my sister.  
Goddammit. 

I think Conrado left and ordered another room because, in all honesty, he hates me and my extremely tiny family. 

I checked the time. 9:12 A.M.  
We kick back because me and Sayori were smacked out*. Like, we couldn’t sleep last night. Now all we can do is sleep.  
I did my best to look alive for Clem, who I put on Thomas and Friends (I liked that shit when I was a kid), I talked to her for a bit, and I was a nice person to her. She’s one of only three people I’m always nice to. The others are Sayori and my grandma. I’m sorry.  
I eventually just packed our shit and left.  
Psych, you lil’ po bitch! You thought!  
*All I can do is sleep*.  
I think Clem fell asleep at some point. I woke up for a second and looked at Sayori on the otherside of the bed in her normal pajamas.  
She was sleeping, and I decided I’d set my alarm for 30 minutes so I wouldn’t be too behind.  
I think we’re hitting Tucson or Phoenix or Flagstaff or some other gay-ass Arizona city (except Sedona, Sedona’s cool), so I drift asleep.  
And I dream  
That I’m free.  
And I’m back on the reef-

 

 

“Rivers! Hermano! Dude!” Clem yells, waking me, then turning and yelling “Mama Sayori” (because she pretty much helped me raise her) and I check the time.  
9:31.  
“Clem, you really shouldn’t wake people up like-“ Sayori started.  
P.M.  
“Wait, so we slept for 12 hours? Fuck Texas, those assholes are in Mississippi by now!” I said.  
We immediately for-realsies leave.  
But I’m too tired to write about my horrible driving to Tucson.  
Lee, help meeeeeeeeee.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gat: what people in Long Beach call a gun  
> smacked out: when you can’t do anything but sleep, usually due to heroin or some substance  
> Freeway Time In LA County Jail (look it up)  
> On the freeway in the county  
> The sun dont shine  
> I feel i feel i feel  
> I feel a bati man  
> Outside my cell  
> Deputies creep  
> And in this cell  
> All i do is sleep  
> And i dream  
> That im free  
> And I’m back on the reef  
> Where I throw my net out into the sea  
> All the fine heinas come swimming to me  
> Hold me baby promise me  
> With no protection on my e- okay thats enough.


	23. Seeing The Family Early

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee and Natsuki meet Lee's dad, and who knows, more interesting things might happen at the end!

We had been in Texas for 6 hours. Rivers, Sayori, Conrado, and Clem we're still in that damn inn.  
Me and Natsuki were already in a city called Andrews. It was a small town, unlike where I last lived.  
"So, um, I thought Texas was gonna be, ya know, western?" Natsuki said as she looked out the window.  
"We're going to my dad's place, then I'm gonna take you to the city I lived in when I still lived in Texas."  
"Wait, but, why would your dad live somewhere else than the place you lived last?"  
I shrugged.  
"I guess he just couldn't handle the huge house with just him and Jose."  
"Hold up, who's Jose?" Natsuki asked me, putting her hand up like she was stopping me from crossing the street.  
"He's my little brother." I said. "He was more attached to my dad than I was, so he's with him."  
Natsuki sighed, then she went back to looking out the window.

Two hours later...

We finally got to my dad's place, but not long after we got something to eat. I took Natsuki to this awesome pizza place called 'Cicis' and we ate, then played all the arcade games they had like, 4 times.  
But at like, I don't even know what time it was, we were finally walking up the steps to the door.  
Natsuki was shaking a bit, but I couldn't tell if it was from the freezing weather, or if she was nervous to see my dad.  
"Hey, it's alright, my dad is just like my mom, he only fights if he has to. Besides, he's actually really nice." I said, trying to reassure her.  
Her shaking had slowed down, but it was still cold outside.  
I knocked on the door, and waited for a bit.  
This was it, I was gonna see my family again.  
The door opened and...

"Alejandro?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I bring a note to all the ones who like to read the doki war stories. I have created a work called 'The Doki War To End All Doki Wars' and it's pretty interesting. Go check it out.  
> ~Lee the supreme Texan


	24. Vegetable

I really want to head home.  
Something about feeling like I’m gonna get shot by 70.9% of the Texan populace constantly.  
No surfers.  
No friends, other than the Club.  
I’m doing my best to have an open mind, but really, I can’t.

Ok, I’m going to explain what Texas is like for all you who’ve never been.  
You know that level in Super Mario 3 (the old one) where the sun wants to kill you? You see where I’m going. The point is, I’m having a hard time adjusting to being more than 35 minutes away from surfable water. But I’m already here, and Lee is gonna kick my ass if I say anything. So I better just enjoy it.  
He drives us to this pizza place, which has the best pizza. Ever.  
It has the worst customer service, though, and I almost have to fight 2 of the waiters for racist remarks.  
“Does it get any better?” I asked Lee.  
“Of course it does, you fucking asshat.” Lee responded.  
That hurt. I think he hates me now.  
Natsuki near permanently has a scowl towards me now too.  
I think she hates me as well.

After that, I ditch everyone and just walk around for a bit. We spent all day driving, and I need a damn break! I thought about something for a while.  
My mom, she used to live around here. I think.  
She would always tell me about a small state she was from called  
Tamaulipas.  
I forgot where the hell Tamaulipas is at, but she told me it was far away from Bajá, on the Gulf of Mexico.  
Gulf of Mexico?  
Wait, so that means she was on the other side from Texas.  
Huh. So at least that amounts to 3 good people I know who come from Texas. (the others are South Park Mexican and Lee. And I’m a little on the fence about the latter).  
She told me her family was not that poor and sometimes her family would go ride motorcycles in the desert.  
I’ve ridden dirt bikes before, and that sounds like a hella good idea.  
I run back to the pizza shop.  
At least I try to.

But then this white guy tries to mug me.  
I had 10 dollars, but I wasn’t giving it away.  
He didn’t have any weapons, he just had his fists, which is pretty dumb way to mug somebody.  
Then I realized.  
I have a weapon!  
So I pull out my butterfly knife, and this fag instantly gets scared and tries to run.  
Should I let him run away? I think not.  
I grab his neck.  
I point towards the dark alley and speak in a New Zealander accent.  
“Let’s go back here, shall we?”

I’ll spare you the events of that dark alley, but basically the world will not have to deal with this guy’s fuckery anymore.  
Anyways, I head back to the pizza shop and give them the idea.  
“Let’s go camp and ride motorcycles in the desert!”  
Natsuki and Lee seemed to want to do that.  
Sayori, on the other hand, did not.  
“But I don’t even know how to ride a dirt bike!” she told me.  
After we all talked, we all agreed that somebody (probably Natsuki) would teach Sayori how to ride a dirt bike.  
Then I realized.  
The nearest dirt bike rental place is ten miles south.  
I yawn and look up a hotel.  
“Let’s go tomorrow.”

At the hotel, which is kinda fancy, we got three rooms. To avoid any fights between anybody, we got one for Leetsuki, one for me and Sayori (we don’t have any ship names), and one for Conrado. That way we won’t have to deal with one another for the night.  
Sayori, Clem and I hawked the hell out of the room service.  
I think we spent 200 dollars on tasty food. Lots of fries, tacos, and burgers.  
We ate most of it and went into a food coma.  
“I feel like I’m gonna break the bed.” Sayori says, quietly and tiredly.  
“Same here.” I respond.  
Clem fell asleep on the couch. Therefore, I close the door and we... we.. dang it, I shouldn’t have.

 

...we sniffed glue on the bed and watched South Park and got high as hell. It felt nice. I felt the world was that much lighter.

Then I fell asleep.  
Hopefully Sayori set the alarm.  
Zzz...


	25. Dirt Bikin'

I woke up real early, cause we had quite the day planned. And guess what? The dirt bike rental, was owned by my dad. Even though he never really did that, heh.  
I tried my best to not wake up Natsuki as I left, and it worked.  
I walked out to that parking lot, and drove off to the dirt bike rental. I guess I could pay my dad another visit...  
In about 30 minutes, I reached my destination. I could see my dad's car already parked behind the building, and I parked behind there too. When I lived here, I used to work with my dad for a summer job. Ah, it's nice to have memories.  
I unlocked the employee door, and yes, I did always have the keys for it on me, even in California. I guess I just never remembered to take them off.  
"Alejandro!" My dad said as he saw me walk through the door.  
Yup, that's my real, real name. Alejandro Ramirez. But my nickname was Lee. Crazy, huh?  
"How ya doing Dad?" I said, walking up to him to give him a hug.  
"I'm doing fine, and my day just got better the moment you walked through that door. I'm glad to see you again."  
"Hey! Lee!" I heard a voice say from behind the corner.  
I looked to see who it was, and it was my little brother, Jose.  
He ran towards me, and gave me a hug. See? I told you we were close.  
"It's nice to see you, Jose." I said, ruffling his hair. And if you have ever seen my hair, Jose's is more curly. He likes it like that.  
"So," My dad said after Jose stopped hugging me. "What're you here for?"  
"Oh, me and a couple of my friends are gonna go dirt biking in the sand hills, and I was gonna borrow some."  
My dad smiled.  
"You know, you already have a four-wheeler. I bought you that for your 16th birthday." He said.  
"Oh, yeah, where'd you put it?"  
"It's been here, in one of the slots for the bikes. But don't worry, I didn't let anyone borrow it."  
He led me to the place where my four-wheeler was. He opened the door, and I was just amazed by how much it looked like my car. Ha, it even had a spoiler.  
"I don't know how you're gonna get that around with that Corvette of yours, so here." My dad said, throwing me some keys.  
I looked at them. It had a Chevy logo, and the type of car. _A Chevrolet Silverado._ Heh, nice, Dad.  
"Is this your truck?" I asked him as he was walking away.  
"It was."  
And he was off, gone to go open the shop.  
I stared at the keys in my hand. _It was?_ Does that mean, it's mine now?  
I tossed the keys around in my hand. I guess I was gonna need them.  
As an employee, I got to rent the bikes without even paying. So I found the best bikes in there, and loaded them into the truck bed. Damn, that truck was nice.  
Oh, yeah, my four-wheeler. I almost forgot it.  
Let me just say, it's not easy loading that into the truck with four dirt bikes in there at the same time.  
I was about to take off, and then my dad reminded me about the helmets and pads. So then I got those too, and then I set off for the hotel.  
My dad was keeping a close watch on my Corvette, just so it wouldn't be stolen.  
I parked in front of the hotel, and went inside. It was still a little early, and I knew Rivers and Sayori wouldn't wake up till later.  
So I went back inside of me and Natsuki's room. She wasn't awake either, so I just got back in bed, and set the alarm for an hour later.

I was awoken by the sound of the alarm clock and Natsuki shaking me.  
"C'mon, we still gotta go get the dirt bikes." She said, still shaking me.  
I got up, and faced her.  
"I already did that."  
"You did?"  
"Yup."  
She looked at the clock.  
"When?"  
"A couple of hours ago, now get up and get dressed, we wanna get to the sand hills early cause we wanna spend the whole day there, right?" I asked her, throwing a shirt on.  
"Well, yeah. I mean, it sounds fun."  
"And it is."  
A few minutes later, we went outside of the room, only to find Rivers, Sayori, and Clem just getting out of their room too.  
"Hey look," Rivers said. "We got out at the same time, now let's go get those bikes."  
"No need for that, I already got them."  
"Ah, nice, I guess."  
We started to walk outside the second we were joined by Conrado. He actually looked happy for once.  
"Alright, who wants to ride with me?" I asked everyone.  
They haven't seen the truck yet. We were still in the reception area.  
"Can I ride in the Corvette? I've always wanted to do that." Sayori said.  
"Well, don't be too surprised when that's not what you see." I said, twirling the keys in my hand, and opening the door to the parking lot with the other one.  
"What do you mean by 'not what you see'? What happened to the Corvette?" Sayori asked again.  
Then they all saw the truck. But they didn't know it was mine, I mean, yeah they saw it, but they were still trying to look for the Corvette.  
Then I pointed the keys toward the truck, and started the engine.  
"So you finally got brains and decided to go with a truck instead of a Corvette, nice Lee." Rivers said.  
"Well, just for today. Look in the back."  
They all walked towards the back of the truck.  
"Holy shit, you weren't kidding when you said you already got the bikes." Rivers said.  
"Yeah, the Corvette wasn't gonna fit all of this in the back, was it?" I said.  
"Hey, is that a four-wheeler?" Clem asked.  
"Yup. Do you wanna try it?"  
"Um, yeah!" She said, a little nervous but excited at the same time.  
And guess what? Clem wanted to ride with me and Natsuki, cause she wanted to 'know what it was like to ride in a truck'. So now me, Natsuki, and Clem were in the truck. Rivers, Sayori and Conrado were in Rivers' car, so after we were all ready, we set off for the sand hills.

"How much farther?" Clem asked me.  
"We're almost there, maybe like 5 minutes away."  
Clem nodded, then went back to looking out the window.  
Rivers was following me, cause he didn't really know the place like I did. Obviously.  
Oh, speaking of Rivers, he sent me a text.

(lakes_and_rivers) how far are we

(thattexanboi) about 5 minutes

(lakes_and_rivers) good cause im tired of driving :/

Heh, I figured Rivers would be.  
Pretty soon, the sand hills started coming into view. Natsuki actually looked up from her phone and looked at them. Clem gasped.  
I pulled into the driveway, and got out.  
Clem pretty much flew out, even though she almost fell cause she wasn't ready for the drop.  
Natsuki did fall, and I was holding back a laugh as I helped her up.  
"Lee, if you laugh I'm gonna beat your ass."  
"I'm not." I said, with my voice breaking up.  
She hit my hand, and that's when I laughed.  
"Damn it!" I said.  
She tried to hit me again, but I had a hold of both of her hands.  
"C'mon, let me go so I can slap you!" She said, trying to free herself from my grip.  
I laughed, then I stole a kiss.  
"Hey!" She said, after I let go of her.  
We went to go unload the bikes, and my four-wheeler, and Rivers and Conrado helped.  
But Natsuki, Sayori, and Clem stayed back, talking about girl stuff.  
"Do you know what they're talking about?" Rivers asked me.  
"I have no damn idea. And I don't think I could guess either."  
Pretty soon, we had the dirt bikes and my four-wheeler down.  
Natsuki got the helmets, gloves, and pads from the front seat. After we got everyone to put their stuff on, excluding Rivers, cause he said if his mom could do it without that, then he can. I sighed, and then Natsuki and Sayori got on one bike, Rivers took his own, Conrado took one, and I was left with Clem.  
"You better keep her safe. If she gets so much as a scratch, you're dead." Rivers said before taking off.  
So I was gonna teach Clem how to ride a four-wheeler.  
"Okay, so first, we turn the ignition on." I said, turning the key.  
"Okay."  
"And after that, well, that's really all you need to do. And to drive it, you pull this."  
I pulled the silver bar on one of the handles, and we started going. Very slowly.  
"The farther you pull it, the slower it goes. The less you pull it, the faster it goes. Here, you try."  
I took my hands off the handles, and Clem put hers on. We started off slowly, then we started going faster.  
"There we go! You're a natural!" I said.  
She laughed.  
"This is awesome!" She said, steering the four-wheeler like she had been doing this forever.  
Pretty soon, she didn't need my help anymore. She let me off at the truck, and I got on the last bike.  
I would go dirt biking on the weekends in summer. Man, I missed it.  
I turned on the ignition on the bike, and it felt good.  
I revved the engine, and I was off. Man, it felt good to be flying through the air, and it was like nothing was stopping you.  
Natsuki was still helping Sayori, so I stopped by.  
"Hey, hot stuff." Natsuki said.  
"Hey, so, how's it going?"  
"Sayori's really good at this, but she still insists that she needs me."  
"I do!"  
"C'mon Sayori," I said. "Show me what you got."  
Natsuki got off the bike, so now Sayori was on by herself. She took awhile to go, but she did. And let me tell you, she was good.  
Natsuki jumped on my bike, and we took off after Sayori. Turns out Sayori wanted to show Rivers what she could do.  
He was pretty impressed, and maybe even a little jealous. Cause Rivers could barely do what Sayori could.  
Clem and Conrado stopped by, and we just kinda talked for a bit.  
It was starting to get late, so as a last minute thing, I challenged all of them to a race.  
"Alright then, Texas boy, wait till you lose." Rivers said.  
"Yeah! Wait till you lose Lee!" Sayori said, jumping on her bike.  
"I wanna race too!" Clem said, getting on the four-wheeler.  
Conrado shrugged. I took that as a yes from him.  
"Well, Natsuki, wanna ride with me?" I asked her.  
"Ya know it!" She said, hopping on.  
"Alright! Is everyone ready?" I asked.  
They all nodded.  
"Alright, 3...2...1...GO!"

I jumped on the bed, I was tired. The race was awesome, me and Natsuki came in 1st, Sayori in 2nd, Clem in 3rd, Conrado in 4th, and Rivers was last. He was pissed, and said that I cheated. I just said I had done this for a long time, but he didn't wanna talk to me anymore.  
So after we loaded everything back in the truck, drove back to town, I returned the bikes, four-wheeler, and truck, drove back to the hotel in my Corvette, and finally got back to the room, I only thing I wanted to do was sleep.  
Natsuki jumped on the bed.  
"Man, today was fun. I wanna do that again sometime." She said.  
"I'm glad you had fun. But right now, I wanna sleep. Goodnight Natsuki." I said, closing my eyes.  
She kissed me on the cheek, and said, "Goodnight."  
I just hope I'll be able to wake up in the morning.


	26. Robbin’ The Hood/Seed

 

I woke up in the middle of the night.

I have my own dirt bike at home: a Suzuki DR-Z 125. I get clowned on a lot for it, but to be honest, I’m a Suzuki boi. That’s why I rented the RMZ 250 from Lee’s dad. Lee’s dad don’t like me, kinda like Lee and Natsuki and everybody on this fandom. I think he shot the prices for the bike.

Fuck that guy. I don’t like him either, but I think we’re gonna hit him up for dinner later, and I guess something good came out of it. I mean, my sister and Lee’s little brother hit it off, so I gotta go.

But it’s 1:00 A.M. right now, and I’m feeling like tearing some shit up while we’re here.

I woke up Sayori. She was sleepy, but I gave her with an idea.

“Let’s go for a night ride.”

 

We snuck out, and we hit up our destination: the dirt-bike shop Lee’s dad owns.

Me and Sayori are both no strangers to robbin’ the hood (though this city is so fucking whitewashed you can barely call it a hood), but it seemed wrong. I’m stealing from Lee’s dad, and Lee himself. He’s my friend.

Then again, that fool hates me.

My Honda CR-X can’t fit a bike, which is why we (me and Sayori) walked here. Also, we didn’t want to arouse suspicion. Just for what we do next.

I threw a brick through the glass window.

It shattered, and we jumped in.

I think I cut my hand, but it’s no matter.

We grab our prizes: two bikes, a Suzuki RMZ 250, the same one I rode, and a Honda XR 125, Sayori’s bike she rode. Lee fucking thinks I don’t ride.

My mom would take me out to Hemet to ride a lot from when I was 3 up until she died.

That Suzuki 125 was the most expensive thing she bought me, other than that cheap-ass car. She got it for my tenth birthday. I was going easy on that fucker. Opening the garage, I get that bike out. I used my phone light. To be a little nice to Lee, I changed his oil on his quad. And I didn’t use the shit oil. I used the bougie-ass STP oil.

Haha, STP. What does it stand for? Leave your ideas in the comments, but for me, it always stands for Secret Tweaker Pad. Best oil other than Mobil oil.

We fill up our tanks and bring the bikes out. But just as we decide to kickstart them, I hear a woman’s voice coming towards us.

“What are you little thiefs doing? I’m calling the police!”

We hurried up and kickstarted the shit.

She was around 45 feet from us when we started it, kicked it into first gear, and drove off.

Okay, so we bumped “Maria Maria” by Carlos Santana. We got a ton of ‘beaners’ and ‘wetback’ and Sayori got the words ‘chink slut’ shouted at her. Anyhow, there’s two ways to drag your sorry ass out of Andrews. The first one is the 176 which, thank God, takes you out of Texas and puts you in Nuevo Mexico. I like that state, it’s fun. Then you got the 385, which is even better because it takes your ass all the way to South Dakota, even farther from this place! Not sure what you’re trying to do over there other than young driving ages and cheap ugly ass prostitutes (I’ve heard the stories.)

We took the 176 west. We had fun on that road. Sayori thought I sucked just as bad as I did yesterday. Not true. I was going easy on Lee. I didn’t want him to get smoked up. I’m really good at speed and I’m a master of wheelies.

On this ride alone, I popped a wheelie for nearly a quarter mile (the bike tells you how far you’ve wheeled). Eventually, it was sunup.

We pulled over.

“Hey, we should head back.”

Then I realized we traveled roughly 90 miles.

“Holy shit!”

And we were almost tanked.

We headed back, but before I saw that promising “Welcome to Texas!” sign, I got curious. We turned back around and went deeper for about fifty minutes. Then we were in the middle of nowhere.

Then we reached a small city in Nuevo Mexico.

Then our gas went out.

Fuck.

Sayori was still happy, and we kissed for a second. But then we both realized.

We forgot what highways we took to get here. They were very different from Californian ones, and my phone was gonna die and I only have 100 dollars in here.

I told that to Sayori.

“Well, that’s our primary issue.” Sayori responded.

“Yeah,” I agreed, despondently. I sat down on a curb.

She joined me.

“Our second issue is that we committed theft and we’re technically fugitives by now.” Sayori added.

 

 

I had fear, Lee knew by now. My sister knew by now.

Me and my girlfriend, thieves. We stole stuff. If they found me, they’d turn me in.

I thought, _Fuck! I fucking hate Texas and everyone in it! I want to be in California, an actually decent state, again._

Then I remembered.

I thought, _Remember, UGK and South Park Mexican came from Texas, dipshit, so watch yourself._

I should probably turn myself in by now, but I didn’t.

I looked at the water tower.

Loco Hills, New Mexico.

Haha, so true.

This is pretty loco.

 


	27. A Short Q&A With the Literature Club and two of the Red Hot Chili Peppers

“Alright, here we are! We have the Southlake Literature Club, who came out with the bestseller Smash and the shit book Americana! We also have six stories Lee here wrote, all of which are legit as fuck. Also, we have two of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Flea and Chad, so let’s get started!”

I’m cool with Flea. I think Lee’s really good friends with Chad.

The host, Jerry Springer, told us how this works. We’ll all answer questions and talk.

“First question: What got you into the club?”

Rivers: Well, my girlfriend invited me over, and when I heard the word ‘free tacos’, I immediately joined. 

Sayori: Well, me and my three other friends started it. I’m the vice president!”

The three other girls nodded in agreement. Natsuki took the mic.

Natsuki: I kinda needed a place to stop getting into a shitton of fistfights!

“Alright!” Jerry said, “Let’s tone it down.”

I stood up.  
“Everybody in the 213, put your motherfucking hands up and follow me!  
Merry motherfucking Christmas, merry motherfucking Christmas, merry motherfucking Christmas, and a fucked-up New Years! You’re all invited to my party after the show! Let’s go get stoned!”  
Everybody cheered.

Jerry seemed nervous.

“Okay, well, next one. If you had to sacrifice one of your clubmates for some reason, who would it be?”  
I was literally the only one who responded.  
“Our friend Conrado over here!”  
Jerry seemed confused.  
“Why?  
“That bitch ass fool can’t do shit. All he does is watch porn and memes, bitch about random shit, and eat my fries!”

Then I realized.  
I grabbed Conrado and dragged him on stage. Lee and the two Chili Peppers followed me up.

I threw him on the ground and stomped him. Lee and the other two joined in with me.  
It took about three minutes, but by the time I was done, he had two black eyes, a bloody nose, and I hope a broken leg.  
The host did nothing about it.

I sat down. The uproar was intense. Everyone was shouting, “fuck Conrado” and “merry motherfucking Christmas.”

Roll the credits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry motherfucking Christmas, Conrado, you punk ass lil po bitch. Better teach you to never use my name in that manner.
> 
> The Americana out.
> 
> PS  
> I want to wish you all a merry motherfucking Christmas and a fucked-up New Years!
> 
> ~rivers, the real mexican slim shady and the overlord of all of the baja california peninsula and three counties in California


	28. No One Else/Pork and Beans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your on your own buddy holly

“Well, I quit!”

I said as I turned in my resignation.  
The whole squad hates me and wants me out.

Makes sense. I mean, I did accidentally kill Conrado and now I’m wanted in three states! Yay!

I packed my CR-X. Figures. Sayori doesn’t want to go, and we broke up.

I took Clem. I guess she always dreamed of living in Rosarito again, like when our parents would take us to the beach or take me to eat lobster in Puerto Nuevo, becuase finally, FINALLY I got good grades. And I’m a technical dual citizen of America and Mexico. My mom did that for me so that way I could see my Mexican family easier.   
Good times. Good times.  
I remember the last words to the club.

“Motherfuck Lee, motherfuck Monika, fuck the entire Southlake Literature Club as a staff, a club, and as a motherfucking crew.”

I was waiting in San Diego. I was scared they were gonna find me.  
I searched my name on Google.  
Ha. I’m only wanted in Arizona and New Mexico and Texas.  
Punk ass bitches.

Finally, I handed the Mexican border guy my papers.  
“Pues, que tienes un buen dia, Rivera!”

 

“Igualmente, señor. Igualmente.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, i just want to say i never meant to diss Lee. He’s a good person. And i’m sorry i took things with conrado too far. you two were the best team i got to work with. I’m sorry i blew everything.   
> Anyhow, I’m writing a new story, called Lucky You, just read it. And I’ll get to updating Americana.
> 
> peace, love, and a hell of a lot of weed and partying and surfing,  
> rivers sanchez  
> just trying to make that california dream
> 
> <3


	29. Welp, Guess It's Just Me Now...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rivers and Conrado have left. I'm all by myself.  
> ;-;

Okay, I'm done. Conrado's dead, and Rivers went to go live in Mexico. Not only did he just rob my dad, he's wanted in three states. And, Clem and Jose were starting to like each other, so it wasn't easy for Jose to see Clem go. Rivers and Sayori broke up, Yuri and Conrado were basically never a thing in this story, and Monika, that thot, is still single. And that makes me the only dude in this entire literature club. And you know what? I'm gonna make this the best I can, cause I have a lot to live up to.  
"We're going back to California." I said.  
"What?" Both Sayori and Natsuki said.  
"You guys belong in Cali, so I'm gonna take you back there. Pack your stuff, we're leaving as soon as we can." I said, grabbing my suitcase and shoving stuff back in there.  
They at first stared at me in confusion, but they eventually got their suitcases too, and in no time at all, we were ready to leave.  
We checked out of the hotel, and got in my Corvette. I didn't even say bye to my dad or Jose, but I can explain later.  
I have some friends to take care of.

Eight hours later, we had finally rolled into Cali. Sayori told me where she lived, and I dropped her off there. I then drove to Natsuki's house.  
"What are you doing?" She asked me.  
"Dropping you off. I need a little alone time." I said.  
She understood, gave me a kiss, and got out of the car.  
I watched her go inside, and drove to my house. I parked the car in the garage, and as I walked into the house, I felt...just straight up _rage_.  
I punched the wall, and I didn't stop till my hands were bleeding, and there was a huge hole in the wall.  
I fell to the floor, and stared at the ceiling.  
I closed my eyes.

________________________________________

 _"C'mon, just a little bit more."_  
_"I'm trying!"_  
_"Don't give up Lee, you are strong."_  
_"Agh!"_  
_"Haha! You did it Lee! You pushed fifty pounds across a football field! You are just like your father."_  
_"Nah, I'm barely getting to be like him."_  
_"Lee, don't let people under-estimate you, okay? Because you know you are strong. You just have to believe it. You are a leader. Now get out there, and be one."_

________________________________________

I woke up. I was still on the kitchen floor, and my hands were still red. I was surprised I didn't bleed out.  
_The dream. What about the dream?_  
The dream. I was younger, and me and my mom were still living with Dad and Jose. My mom was training me to be strong, to stand up for myself. And, to this day, what she said, still fueled me to be, well, _me_.  
"Thanks, Mom. I'll try to live up to you and Dad. And you're right. I am a leader.

Now, it's time to go be one."


	30. Lee's Not Okay

I tried to walk to my room, I needed to get dressed for school, but the second I walked in there, I had another surge of anger.  
I threw everything on the ground, and I didn't care if it was something valuable to me, or not. Pretty soon, my entire room was trashed. The TV was on the floor, and only my PlayStation was in usable condition. But that just made me even more mad, cause it reminded me of Rivers. So I threw it at the window. I just wanted it to be out. It broke through the window, and I could hear it break on the pavement.  
My phone lit up.  
And instead of being a normal human being, I threw my phone against the wall.  
I was still hella mad.  
At my mom, for leaving me behind. At Rivers, for stealing and leaving his friends, and his girlfriend behind. And at the stupid life I had. I had to live up to my parents, I had to be a good boyfriend, and I had to live with looking like a God damm model.  
"GOD DAMN IT!" I yelled, hitting the wall once more.  
That hurt even more, cause my hands were already bleeding. The wall had blood on it, and so did my face.  
I backed away from the wall, and saw what I had done to it. It wasn't a big hole, like in the kitchen, but it was still bloody.  
I went to the side of my bed, and sat down next to it. I was facing the now broken window, and I just didn't know what to do.  
I heard a buzz.  
I looked over at my phone, and sure enough, I had a notification.  
It buzzed again.  
I didn't get up to go check it. I didn't wanna move. I didn't want to see what people said. I just wanted to be here. Alone.  
My phone was ringing now.  
I couldn't see who was calling me, and to be honest, I didn't care.  
I watched it ring. It eventually stopped.  
I slid to the floor.  
And, like most days, I stared at the ceiling.  
The emptiness of the room, calmed me down, and I was relaxed.  
For once.

An hour later, I was still just staring at the ceiling. Too much was going on in my mind, that I couldn't sleep.  
I heard a faint knocking noise.  
"You think he's in there?"  
"He has to be, it's his house."  
I could easily hear whoever was talking, my window was broken. And sound just traveled easier.  
There was another knocking noise.  
"Hey, Lee? You in there?"  
I wanted to go and open the door, but I just...couldn't.  
It got quiet for a second.  
"Hey, um, Natsuki? Did you see this?"  
So Natsuki was here. My girlfriend was here. She couldn't see the state I was in. Not now.  
I was somehow able to fit under the space under my bed, and I planned to stay here till Natsuki left.  
"Oh my God! Lee's window is broken! Sayori, we have to get inside. Now!"  
So both Natsuki and Sayori were here.  
I heard keys, and I heard the front door open. I had forgotten that I gave a pair of keys to Natsuki.  
"Hello? Lee? Please, where are you?"  
I could identify that voice as Natsuki's.  
"Lee? Please! Answer us!"  
And that voice was Sayori's.  
Natsuki screamed.  
Then Sayori screamed.  
I'm guessing they found the hole in the wall, with blood on it.  
"There's blood on the floor!"  
"Oh, God. LEE! WHERE ARE YOU?!"  
Then I heard heavy footsteps. They were running up the stairs.  
They were now at my door.  
"Lee...please don't be dead...please... don't..." I heard Natsuki say.  
The door to my room slowly opened, and I could see their shoes. They had just gotten back from school.  
"What the _hell_?!" Natsuki said.  
Sayori screamed.  
"N-natsuki. There's another hole in the wall, a-and his stuff is everywhere, e-everything is _broken_." Sayori said, in tears.  
I could see Natsuki's feet walk to where I had threw my phone.  
"I had tried texting him, and after he didn't respond, I tried calling him. _What did he do?_ "  
_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll show up tomorrow, I promise._  
Natsuki still had my phone, and they left. I could hear Natsuki start crying after they left the house.

I'm sorry Natsuki. I'm sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I'm sorry guys. I just felt like putting some drama in here, so there it was. I promise things will get better.  
>   
>   
>   
> Hopefully.


	31. I'm done, sorry

I'm done. I'm. Done. Okay? Did you hear me? Yeah, I'm sure you did. This story was going to be continued, there was going to be a chapter where everyone was celebrating Christmas, but I didn't do it. So this is my message to all of you. Next time you write something, make everyone happy. Not just you. _Everyone._ Because I sure tried, but this is just where I ended up. I'm killing this story, I'm leaving it alone. Sorry to anyone who wanted to hear a good ending, this ain't it. I'm sorry. Also, sorry for being dead for the last week, things ain't easy over here. Sorry for making this story worse. Good bye, Rivers' version of the Dokis. You weren't good anyways.

  
  
  


-Lee, the no good Texan.


End file.
